I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize