dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
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at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
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It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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