There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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