Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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