Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
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I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
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