Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize