and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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