totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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