go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
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