Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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