So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
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what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
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We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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