so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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