happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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