Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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