fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize