Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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