Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
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They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
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Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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