I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize