I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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