are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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