atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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