Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
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