i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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