yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My bed smells like the plague
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