Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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