I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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