but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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