His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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