I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
should my penis look like a turkey
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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