You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize