she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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