So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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