I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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