why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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