I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize