She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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