4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize