im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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