My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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