Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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