I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize