I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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