were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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