is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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