Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize