I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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