when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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