Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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