It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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