The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize